-Getting to know you...
ps...I also have these crazy dreams about him where he's a pirate...that has nothing to do with my question...but I thought you might get a laugh out of that...I don't know.
Okay. In order to get close to this boy, you need to start by listing everything you know about him, because as we know, Knowledge is Power. So sit down and make a list of band t-shirts he's worn, food you've smelled on him, what shoes he wears, and everything he's ever said. This might seem crazy, and it is. But school's out and so if you're not running in the same circles, you're going to need to force your way into his life and also (here's the tricky part) not let it look like that's what you're doing. So you're going to need to list places you think he might go and then show up in those places, always looking super hot. If you're facebook friends it might be easier to just see what events he's RSVP'd yes to. And make sure you get invited to the same things.
Now, here's where it starts to get complicated. Once you happen to run into him in a blues bar or at the party of a mutual friend, you have to force him to notice you, but almost exclusively in a positive way. One reason this will be difficult is that you have put a lot of secret energy into ensnaring him, which is likely to make you unusually agitated. You might find yourself jumping high in the air and maybe screaming when approached by small stimuli. You may find that you can only talk in CAPS lock, but an extremely squeaky version. These are things you need to prepare for, in one of two ways. You can practice being in very uncomfortable situations and not having these kinds of reactions (not that reliable), but I always find that practice awkwardness doesn't do the job as well as real awkwardness, and when faced with a real live stalkee, the reactions still manifest. So what I recommend you do is, practice making your CAPSqueak sexy. Try to make your jumpiness into part of your charm. Whatever your pathologies, try to make them seem appealing. Tricking your man is always step one.
Now that that's out of the way, you'll need to Shock and Awe. It's not yet the time for table dancing or taking your shirt off. But the time for casually walking up next to him and calmly remarking on the general depravity of your surroundings is long since past. Embracing your new devil-may-care attitude, I recommend walking up behind him in Casa Que Pasa and giving his ass a little grab. Smile winningly. He'll probably be cool with it. If it looks like an Abort Mission is in order, you can just look horrified and say, 'Oh my gosh! I thought you were my gay boyfriend!(a la Carrie Bradshaw) I am SO sorry for the misunderstanding!' And you know what? You may be able to salvage it. If he asks you how you can have a gay boyfriend, you're in! And you know what? He probably will. Because men have a really hard time understanding that concept. I don't know why.
But you don't have to take this route. You can tailor your own strategy to fit your style and (probably more importantly) that of your intended. But the important thing is, you have his undivided attention. That's why it needs to be a full-on grab and not just a smack. That could be accidental. But with a grab, he's forced to look you in the eye. If you're brave, you'll say, 'Hey there, sexy. How'd you do on the History final? Can I buy you a drink?' If not, you'll probably smile a little apologetically and say, 'That final was crazy, huh?' But I don't know why you would take the lame route at this point. You've already grabbed his ass, you might as well go whole hog. If you're more of the demure school of thought, you probably just winked at him across the room at best. But the point is that now you're talking. But what you need to do after this is, be sure you walk away before he does. Before he even looks at his watch. Remember: You're a teaser. You turn him on, leave him burning, and then you're gone. A little like Batman.
PS Don't under any circumstances tell him about your dreams. Don't ask me how I know this, just trust me.
