I probably shouldn't be allowed to talk.

So today I was standing around, talking to some Unsuspecting Normalsons.  They were like, what's up with that new Fantasia movie? And I was like, you mean the one that came out ten years ago instead of fifty? And they were like, yeah. What's even in that?  And I was like, well, that terrifying Mickey Mouse one is shown again right in the middle.  And they were like, yeah, that Sorcerer's Apprentice is really stupid.  And I was like, Yeah, I KNOW, right? And totally scary! Like, every time Mickey chops up that broom and then it COMES BACK TO LIFE I'm like FFFFFCK!!!! I kinda had a dream like that last night! And they were like, ....

And I was like, 

I was working on an early steamship, and everyone was really impressed with the technology that made it go.  I think I was a waitress, and my friend Grace was going downstairs to clean the pipes out (like you always have to do mid-voyage on your steamship). (It should be noted that I don't actually have a friend Grace, she's a dream-friend.  Like most of my friends) (But then why aren't they better friends, if I just make them up? I need to start imagining friends who don't stab me in the back all the time...) So then it turned out there was a sea serpent in the pipes and I ran down to the basement of the boat just in time to see Grace flailing helplessly as the creature cruelly dragged her back to its pipe-labyrinthine-lair.  I hauled her out and even though she had been hopelessly clutched in the serpent's fangs, she didn't seem to be too much the worse for wear.  I grabbed that serpent and took it up to the kitchen, where I put its head in the garbage disposal (like you always have on your early steamship).  As I realized that this was the best plan I've ever come up with, I decided to grind the whole thing up in the blender.  My brother helped me.  When I was finished, I had a little tadpole of post-blender-sea-serpent goo.  I felt like the right place for that goo was the bowl in which my faithful goldfish, Buckaroo Bonzai, resides.  This later became a problem because, you know how some things can kind of regenerate?  like lizards' tails, or things in a dream?  Well, it turned out the sea serpent just regenerated and my brother had to grab it by the back of the head and put it in the blender.  Then we had the bright idea that if it regenerated but wasn't in water, it would just suffocate since it's a SEA serpent.  As in fish. As in needs water to breathe.  As in why on earth did we put it in that fish bowl anyway?  So we put it in a bag and took it out to the garbage cans out front.  As we got there, we were greeted pleasantly by a friendly but bumbling (like most of my brother's real-life friends) neighbor who I knew had caused this mess in the first place.  After a brief montage of all the ways I could help him see the error of his ways, I just decided to get over it. I put the remains in the garbage can, smiled at the neighbor and went into my house.  LEAVING THE SEA SERPENT UNATTENDED.  I could hear the Jaws theme playing as I walked away.  Even in my dreams, I make Very Poor Life Choices!  And then I was making out with this guy I met in choir but it was actually a little scary. *exhale.*

They exchanged a few perplexed glances with one another and said, ...welp, choir's starting...

The interesting thing about all this (I can hear you say, "Really? Really??) is that this Sea Serpent was really the same monster as the Giant Eel pursuing me and my cabinmates in a dream about two weeks ago:  roughly the length of my driveway, with GIANT fangs.  Kinda Basilisk-esque, in a Harry Potter kind of way.